


Chat Machina

by wtfmaya



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, No Angst, chat fic, maybe there will be relationships later but not right now lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfmaya/pseuds/wtfmaya
Summary: Scanlan Shorthalt: what’s wrong with a little love ;)Vex’ahlia: Holy shittign fuc kVex’ahlia: Listen here you tiny fuckstack if you use one more of those winky faces you’re getting kickedScanlan Shorthalt: (・ω<)Vex’ahlia: Oooohhhh you're on thin fucking ice buddy





	Chat Machina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea has been bouncing around in my head for months and months. I love chat fics my dudes. And I miss Vox Machina so much 
> 
> This is set in a modern au, and all the VM kids are in college. I’m picturing them as freshman (1st years).

**[Vex’ahlia]** created **[server]**

 **[Vex’ahlia]** renamed **[server]** to **[Vox Machina]**

 **[Vex’ahlia]** added **[Vax’ildan]** , **[Keyleth]** , **[Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III]** , **[Pike Trickfoot]** , **[Grog Strongjaw]** , and **[Scanlan Shorthalt]** to **[Vox Machina]**

 

Vex’ahlia: GROUP CHAT MOTHERFUCKERS

Vax’ildan: vex no

Vex’ahlia: VEX YES

Vax’ildan: no

Vex’ahlia: WHY THE FUCK NOT BROTHER

Keyleth: !!!!!! Yes i missed having a group chat with you guys!!!!!!!!!

Vex’ahlia: See keyleth is into it!

Keyleth: :D

Vax’ildan:

Vax’ildan: fine but if all the notifications get me caught again im leaving the chat

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: Just put your phone on silent, Vax.

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: Or stop trying to sneak into the Headmaster’s office.

Vax’ildan: the buzzing still makes noise

Vax’ildan: and no

Vax’ildan: the motherfucker’s got an endless stash of candy in his desk.

Scanlan Shorthalt: holy sweet shit percy can u change your user

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: Why. It’s my name.

Scanlan Shorthalt: it’s like reading a fuckin novel before i even get to your message  

Grog Strongjaw: yea it hurts my eyes 2 read it all percy

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: Tragic.

Pike Trickfoot: oooh the group chat is revived!

Pike Trickfoot: Heck yeah!

Vax’ildan: WOAH pike!

Pike Trickfoot: ??

Vax’ildan: I know we’re all excited but there’s no need for that kind of language

Pike Trickfoot:

Pike Trickfoot: go suck a fuck

Grog Strongjaw: LOL

Vex’ahlia: Oh wow I can’t believe my brother is fuckin dead goodbye brother we’ll miss you

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: Will we.

Keyleth: Yes!! We will!!!

Keyleth: Don’t worry Vax I’ll make sure your funeral is super cool

Vax’ildan: thank you kiki

Vax’ildan: at least one person cares about my wellbeing

Keyleth: You’ll still be dead tho :/

Vax’ildan: yea no thats cool

Keyleth: O h

Vex’ahlia: Don’t worry keyleth my brother is too dumb to die

Vax’ildan: hey what the fuck

Pike Trickfoot: besides I wouldn’t actually let him die who else would keep me company in our 8am lecture

Vax’ildan: “let” me die how would you stop me pickle

Pike Trickfoot: don’t fuckin test me string bean

Pike Trickfoot: i have my Ways

Vax’ildan: i dont know why but i am currently terrified

Pike Trickfoot: Good

Scanlan Shorthalt: oohh pike that was so assertive and powerful i love that in you ;)

Vex’ahlia: Nope nope nope group chat canceled burn everything goodb ye

Scanlan Shorthalt: what why

Scanlan Shorthalt: what’s wrong with a little love ;)

Vex’ahlia: Holy shittign fuc k

Vex’ahlia: Listen here you tiny fuckstack if you use one more of those winky faces you’re getting kicked

Scanlan Shorthalt: (・ω<)

Vex’ahlia: Oooohhhh you're on thin fucking ice buddy

Grog Strongjaw: !!! scanlan howd u do that

Grog Strongjaw: the face

Scanlan Shorthalt: it’s a secret

Scanlan Shorthalt: ☆=(ゝω･)/

Grog Strongjaw: !!!

Pike Trickfoot: oh I like those! Grog look at this one

Pike Trickfoot: ᕙ(˵ ಠ ਊ ಠ ˵)ᕗ

Pike Trickfoot: it’s you! See its flexing and it looks just a little angry but mostly its sweet

Grog Strongjaw: !!!!!!!!!!!

Grog Strongjaw: ALDJSKJDSKSK

Grog Strongjaw: HOW DO I DO

Pike Trickfoot: I’ll show you when I come over tomorrow :)

Grog Strongjaw: ok!

Scanlan Shorthalt: oh youre coming over tomorrow pike? missed the sweet sweet sound of my voice and the sultry tune of my songs, did you ;)

Vex’ahlia: third strike you’re out bitch

Scanlan Shorthalt: WAIT SHIT NO IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Vex’ahlia: evicted

 

 **[Scanlan Shorthalt]** has been kicked from **[Vox Machina]**

 

Vex’ahlia: the evil has been defeated

Vax’ildan: F

Keyleth: F? What does that mean

Vax’ildan: press F to pay respects

Keyleth: ??? Okay

Keyleth: F

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: F

Grog Strongjaw: F

Vex’ahlia: F

Pike Trickfoot: F

Pike Trickfoot: ok but seriously let’s get scanlan’s dumbass back on here

Vex’ahlia: yea sure

 

 **[Vex’ahlia]** added **[Scanlan Shorthalt]** to  **[Vox Machina]**

 

Vex’ahlia: behave yourself you tiny fuck

Scanlan Shorthalt: OH THANK GOD

Scanlan Shorthalt: I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE ALONE OVER HERE

Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: You will.

Scanlan Shorthalt:

Vax’ildan: holy fucking shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed it :)
> 
>  
> 
> Some extra details/notes about this fic that you might be interested in learning: 
> 
> \- they’re all currently in their 2nd semester of their freshman year of college  
> \- Vex, Keyleth and Pike are roommates  
> \- Vax, Percy, Grog and Scanlan are also roommates  
> \- Pike’s family adopted Grog in every way but legally way back when he and Pike were both fairly young, like in elementary school. Pike and Grog were in the same class and became friends, and when Pike started to bring him over to her house after school her grandpa realized that he was being really neglected by his family, so they started to take care of him and just never stopped. The two consider themselves siblings :,)  
> \- Keyleth and Percy met at one of those orientation events the college put on for accepted Early Decision students that took place a couple months before move-in and whatnot. Keyleth sort of awkwardly and forcibly befriended Percy because they were both the first person they bumped into at an event where they knew nobody. At first Percy had no fuckin idea how to handle the ball of enthusiasm that was Keyleth, but he found himself quickly and inexplicably becoming very fond of her, and the two became fast friends and kept in touch over the months until move-in.  
> \- im thinking that they had a group chat when they first became friends, but as many group chats do, it died. Vex decided to start up a new one now because she’s Vex and she said so.  
> \- I have a basic idea of what all of their majors are, along with some other more technical details, but there’s still a chance I’ll change up some of that stuff so im gonna leave some of this stuff up in the air until my indecisive ass makes a final decision

**Author's Note:**

> Go scream at me on my tumblr, [wtfmaya-writes](https://wtfmaya-writes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments fuel my soul and my power, please feed me 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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